Stop the World I Want to Get Off

So, here's the latest drama for those of you I haven't talked to in a while. In February, I got pregnant (SURPRISE!!!!). Then, a couple weeks later, I started to bleed. I don't want to gross anyone out, but it was heavy enough that we assumed I had miscarried. I continued to both bleed and be nauseated for a week--so we figured it was about time to figure out what was going on. After some testing, we went in for an ultrasound and discovered I was still pregnant and bleeding (SURPRISE AGAIN!!!!). As of now, I'm 9 weeks along, very nauseated, but at least the bleeding seems to have healed itself. I'm rarely online, and not in contact with very many people any other way either. I'm sorry to those who feel neglected. I'm in survival mode (and not doing a very good job of that either). I'm hopeful that by the end of May I'll be past this and will be able to be human again. I really don't want to spend my birthday sick. I'd love to hear from any of you that want to contact me, but I won't be reaching out for a while yet. And if you have any more surprises--yeah, just don't tell me right now. I'm done with surprises for a while.

Bad Day

I had a very bad day yesterday. I keep telling myself that they'll start to be less often, but it hasn't happened yet. I was looking over the past couple months on the calendar for something totally innocent when I realized that, had I still been pregnant, I would have had my ultrasound last week or the week before. I would be getting big (read huge, cause it's what I do); I would know the gender of my baby; and I would be more than half-way to holding my child. So, I spent a good portion of yesterday feeling sad and empty. I gave myself a headache trying not to cry, and still broke down and sobbed multiple times (once in public for which I'm going to be forever embarrassed). I did however manage to make it through teaching piano without crying and scaring my students. And I had a roast in the crock pot before I crumbled, so the day wasn't a total waste.

Today I feel fragile, tired, and a little puffy around the eyes. And irritated that now I have 2 days worth of work to try to fit into one.

Normally, when I feel this way, I would never post about it. I don't like to talk or be public when this happens. However, many of you that I love have been asking how I'm doing, so now you know. I really am fine; but if I answer your inquiries by saying I'm "here" or "upright", it's probably because that's a success considering I'm in the middle of this type of bad day.

This is a sign Rae just gave me. It SO describes my life right now. It's time for Spring Cleaning to begin.

Thank You

As you can see, my blog has a great new look. I owe that to one of the most important people in my life--AmyO. My life would not be as blessed as it is without you, my love!

This is my first post since some major changes in our lives. I'm not ready to write much about it, but we've suffered a miscarriage. Thank you to everyone who has expressed their love and concern. Most of you have not heard from me in quite a while. Please know that I love you and thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We're doing OK, but I'm finding it easier to hibernate for a while until I no longer feel so raw. Hopefully soon I'll be back to enjoying my new, ever-so-pretty blog. I love you all so much and I'm so grateful to have your support during this time.

Sick

I'm 5 weeks into this pregnancy. . . and I'm sick. Not only has the "morning" sickness kicked in, but I have a cold. And since I'm pregnant, all the good meds are off-limits. UGH!!!! And I'm grumpy about it all. I probably won't update here very often--there's just not much to say when I feel this crappy. I'll just leave you all with this last parting thought: the idiot who named this all-encompasing, ever-present, often debilitating nausea "morning sickness" ought to be drug out into the street and shot. Along with the moron who first claimed pregnancy only lasts 9 months--last time I counted 40 weeks equals 10 months, thank you very much!

Huge Changes in Store

So all my plans to regularly update this blog have fallen by the wayside, but for very good reasons.

A few weeks ago, the wards in my area were split and reorganized. Which put us in a brand new ward. The very day they did this, I got a call to ask me to meet with the new bishopric, oh and could the Z-Man come with me? UGH!! I knew they weren't to the small callings yet, and I was right. I am now the new Primary President for the Harvest Hills 9th Ward. For those who don't know, that means I (along with my 2 counselors and secretary) am in charge of all the kids 18 months to 12 years old. And since it's a new ward, that means getting ALL the teachers, coordinators, and other leaders in place FAST!!!

As if this wasn't enough to keep me insanely busy for the next few months, we just confirmed on Friday that I am pregnant!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Yes, it's planned. Yes, I'm more excited than I can say. And Yes, I know it's fairly crazy of me to accept such a big responsibility in the ward when I'm getting ready for baby #3. Oh well. That's my life.

I had originally planned to keep word of this pretty low-key. And wait for a few months to tell the general public--but I SUCK at keeping this kind of secret when it's my own. I can keep someone else's secret for the rest of my life if asked to--but my own seem to just burst out of me at the most inopportune times. So, if I seem to disappear for weeks at a time from whatever form of communication you're used to from me, you can either blame it on massive Primary work, or the fact that very soon I'll be spending the majority of my evenings worshiping the porcelain god. Wish me luck!

Rhonda Rocks!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the women who have shpaed my life--both past and present. I've been reminded that we are all sisters adn vital to each other's happiness. That is, without a doubt, true in my life. And it's high time I pay tribute to these women (plus it's a good way to blog without having to come up with topics!)


What better place to start than with the woman who inspired the title of my blog:

RHONDA!!!

First of all, your stalker skills are unsurpassed! If you hugged Peter and I hugged you, does that mean I hugged Peter? (oh please, oh please, oh please). Your sense of humor is irreverent, unexpected, and guaranteed to make me laugh. Who else would inspire me to track down a pioneer dress, spiked collar, and goth boots (pictures coming as soon as I can). I envy your drool-worthy scrapbook room and bow down to your superior talent. My life is brighter and certainly a lot more fun with you in it. Thanks for your smiles and your unconditional love. Forks wouldn't be my heaven without you there! Besides, who's going to tailgate my Meg Mobile on my way there if you're not behind the wheel of your H2? LOL