Thank You

As you can see, my blog has a great new look. I owe that to one of the most important people in my life--AmyO. My life would not be as blessed as it is without you, my love!

This is my first post since some major changes in our lives. I'm not ready to write much about it, but we've suffered a miscarriage. Thank you to everyone who has expressed their love and concern. Most of you have not heard from me in quite a while. Please know that I love you and thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We're doing OK, but I'm finding it easier to hibernate for a while until I no longer feel so raw. Hopefully soon I'll be back to enjoying my new, ever-so-pretty blog. I love you all so much and I'm so grateful to have your support during this time.

Sick

I'm 5 weeks into this pregnancy. . . and I'm sick. Not only has the "morning" sickness kicked in, but I have a cold. And since I'm pregnant, all the good meds are off-limits. UGH!!!! And I'm grumpy about it all. I probably won't update here very often--there's just not much to say when I feel this crappy. I'll just leave you all with this last parting thought: the idiot who named this all-encompasing, ever-present, often debilitating nausea "morning sickness" ought to be drug out into the street and shot. Along with the moron who first claimed pregnancy only lasts 9 months--last time I counted 40 weeks equals 10 months, thank you very much!

Huge Changes in Store

So all my plans to regularly update this blog have fallen by the wayside, but for very good reasons.

A few weeks ago, the wards in my area were split and reorganized. Which put us in a brand new ward. The very day they did this, I got a call to ask me to meet with the new bishopric, oh and could the Z-Man come with me? UGH!! I knew they weren't to the small callings yet, and I was right. I am now the new Primary President for the Harvest Hills 9th Ward. For those who don't know, that means I (along with my 2 counselors and secretary) am in charge of all the kids 18 months to 12 years old. And since it's a new ward, that means getting ALL the teachers, coordinators, and other leaders in place FAST!!!

As if this wasn't enough to keep me insanely busy for the next few months, we just confirmed on Friday that I am pregnant!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Yes, it's planned. Yes, I'm more excited than I can say. And Yes, I know it's fairly crazy of me to accept such a big responsibility in the ward when I'm getting ready for baby #3. Oh well. That's my life.

I had originally planned to keep word of this pretty low-key. And wait for a few months to tell the general public--but I SUCK at keeping this kind of secret when it's my own. I can keep someone else's secret for the rest of my life if asked to--but my own seem to just burst out of me at the most inopportune times. So, if I seem to disappear for weeks at a time from whatever form of communication you're used to from me, you can either blame it on massive Primary work, or the fact that very soon I'll be spending the majority of my evenings worshiping the porcelain god. Wish me luck!

Rhonda Rocks!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the women who have shpaed my life--both past and present. I've been reminded that we are all sisters adn vital to each other's happiness. That is, without a doubt, true in my life. And it's high time I pay tribute to these women (plus it's a good way to blog without having to come up with topics!)


What better place to start than with the woman who inspired the title of my blog:

RHONDA!!!

First of all, your stalker skills are unsurpassed! If you hugged Peter and I hugged you, does that mean I hugged Peter? (oh please, oh please, oh please). Your sense of humor is irreverent, unexpected, and guaranteed to make me laugh. Who else would inspire me to track down a pioneer dress, spiked collar, and goth boots (pictures coming as soon as I can). I envy your drool-worthy scrapbook room and bow down to your superior talent. My life is brighter and certainly a lot more fun with you in it. Thanks for your smiles and your unconditional love. Forks wouldn't be my heaven without you there! Besides, who's going to tailgate my Meg Mobile on my way there if you're not behind the wheel of your H2? LOL

For Rae

OK, so I'm finally getting back to my blog. There's lots to catch up on, but I'll probably forget most of it by the time I get to writing about it. I just LOVE how well my brain works now that I have kids!

But now I am finally getting back to a tag from Rae, so here goes:

8 TV shows I love to watch:
I really watch very little TV now. I'd much rather read or craft or just hang out with the Z-man. But, if I were to have to choose it would be in no particular order
1. What Not to Wear
2. Good Things Utah
3. The Rachael Ray show
4. Law and Order (the original is still the best)
5. Numbers
6. House (but I have a weak stomach so I have to look away a lot)
7. How to Look Good Naked
8. Paula Deen's cooking shows (I gain weight just watching the yumminess!)

8 Things That Happened Yesterday
1. We made it to church on time!
2. Zippy bore his testimony
3. Munchkin refused to nap--a very disturbing trend I'd hate to see continued
4. I had a HUGE turn-out at choir! YAY!!
5. I made it through church without having to put either kid in time-out
6. We had an AMAZINGLY powerful Relief Society meeting
7. I actually made it to bed on time
8. Munchkin continued to wake up every couple of hours all night--I'm really tired of that

8 Favorite Places to Eat
1. Mom's kitchen
2. My kitchen
3. Bajio/Cafe Rio
4. The Garden (on the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building)
5. Iceberg drive-in
6. Jimmy-John's
7. Cafe Fresh
8. Macaroni Grill

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To
1. Twilight the movie!!!!
2. Christmas--I've never grown out of it
3. Halloween--I LOVE dressing up
4. The next TwilightMOMS get-together
5. The next meeting of my Visiting Teaching "trio"
6. Next month's "day off" courtesy of Mom
7. My brother and his kids coming to visit
8. The next book by Catherine Anderson coming out in January

8 Things on My Wishlist
1. Classical music (esp. piano)
2. Goth boots and a pioneer dress (for canning)
3. Twilight the movie to watch whenever I want (i.e. every day)
4. Books, books, and more books
5. A shopping spree at IKEA
6. Funky new clothes
7. Long hair--mine grows way too slowly
8. A compound where me and all my favorite people could live close together

Stupid Shiny Sun

Usually, I'm up a long time before the kids. Not this morning. This is the first thing I heard this morning thanks to Zippy:

"The sun's coming up."
*incoherent mumbling from me *
"The sun says it's morning." This time accompanied by a little shake of my arm.
"The sun says it's time to get up Mommy!"

This last sentence was shouted in my ear. I figured that since I would now need a massive dose of pain-killer to get rid of the headache I suddenly had, I might as well start the day. Stupid, shiny sun. He and I are going to have a long talk about waking my kids up. . . .

I DID IT!

I'm still digging myself and my house out from the chaos of me being gone for 4 days, but I've surfaced long enough to point out that I did it: I WENT TO FORKS!!!

So, now I can truly say it's like I've died and gone to Forks!

I'll post more pics and details soon, now back to the dishes that waited for me!

3 days!

That's right! Only 3 days left until I hop on a plane and take myself up to Forks!!!! Like a friend pointed out yesterday, I'll finally be able to justify the title to this blog. LOL Truly, I can hardly think of anything else. . . unless you count all the laundry, cleaning, packing, etc. I need to do before I leave. We just won't talk about that.

For the past 2 weeks, Z-man has been denying the existence of this trip. "You're not going anywhere," "I don't know what you're talking about," "What trip?" "What's Twilight?" Really funny stuff (insert eye-roll here). We'll just see what he says when he's in charge of our little world without me. What's Twilight indeed.

Count-Down

3 weeks from right now, I will be getting ready to board a plane to Seattle.

That's right, folks. 3 weeks from today is the beginning of my trip to Forks, Washington. . .I really will have Gone to Forks!!!!

I might be a little excited. I also might be having a hard time focusing on anything else today.

Is it a sign of insanity if I spend the day dancing around and chanting "3 weeks"?

Guilty Pleasures

I've recently been reminded by my ever-so-kind-and-loving girlfriends, that I adore quite a few things that make them snicker and giggle--and roll their eyes on occasion. I thought it would be a hoot to list as many of them as I can. So, in the name of making those I love laugh today, here's my list of guilty pleasures: i.e. things I really shouldn't love like I do:

**"Dude Where's My Car?"--come on, it's hilarious!
**Demolition derbies
**Twilight/Stephenie Meyers--this is way beyond guilty pleasure but I still get some eye-rolls over it
**Ace of Base
**Romance novels (although Rae keeps me within strict bounds--thanks babe!)
**Dukes of Hazard--either the old show or the new movie--lovely mindless viewing pleasure!
**Manual (i.e. stick shift) engines--ooh the power!
**Mac computers--but really, they all want one too!

This just barely scratches the surface! What are your guilty pleasures?

Delicious Destruction

Last Saturday we went to the Salt Lake County Fair as a family. Now, before you get all teary-eyed with cute images of our little family strolling through the animals and baked goods being all lovey, you should know why we went. One reason and one reason only: the Demolition Derby.

For those who don't know what that is (and really, you all should), it's a bunch of people (guys mostly) with too much time and an extra car. They take all glass, etc out of said extra car and use it to smash into each other. It's a grown up version of bumper cars. And it is one of the best ways to spend a summer Saturday night ever!!!

I know, I know, I come across all sophisticated and urbane (snorts and snickers appropriate here). But Z-man and his roomies introduced me to the joy that is a demolition derby when we were still first dating. Translation: I was still up for anything becuase I was trying to impress him. And I have been hooked ever since. My parents think I've lost my mind. Many of my girlfriends laugh at me. But until you have heard the snarl of a beefed-up engine followed by a very satisfying crunch of folding metal and the accompanying roar of an excited (and mostly drunk) crowd, you'll never know the thrill that is a demolition derby.

So, here's to those drivers with too much adrenaline and too many cars! Thanks for making my summer!

It's Finally Here!

Breaking Dawn is finally here--and I'm finally finished reading. OK, who am I kidding--I was finished less than 24 hours after getting it in my hot little hands. (Thanks Rachelle for bringing it to me at 1 am--I owe you big!). All I can say is WOW!!! It's amazing--and surprising--and not at all what I expected! And my brain is still too fried from being up too late and reading too much to say any more than that! Read it!

It Happened One Night

Friday night, I got the chance to feel like I was a teenager again, and it's all thanks to "the Lisa".

Lisa was asked to meet a photographer from the Salt Lake Tribune to meet him at the Provo City Cemetery Friday night for a photo shoot. (the story comes out Aug 1--look for it--it's gonna be awesome!). So, I got to go along as "protection". . . which mostly means it's creepy to meet a strange man in a cemetery at night and wouldn't you want a girlfriend with you too?

So, first of all we arrived and I was reminded again how beautiful that cemetery is. Then we all noticed that the signs say the gates close automatically at dusk. So, after some drama with Lisa's keys being locked in the car (we're laughing WITH you, Lisa) we move her car and then head out to find a place to take these pics. It's just after 9 pm, and I realize as I'm looking around that we're in the perfect spot at the perfect time to see the haunted headstone that glows at twilight! I don't know the story (I heard way too many conflicting versions in High School), but there's a headstone that glows at twilight, and we got to see it. Ah the wonders of polished marble and neon lights across the street. LOL

The photographer showed up and was totally awesome (Hey Jimmy!), and the shoot itself was so cool! We found a great headstone to use, and I got to watch the way he set up all his cool equipment and delayed exposures and lighting effects and all sorts of cool stuff. And then, he asked me to help with the lighting. (I am now a pro at holding a flashlight and pointing it in the right direction LOL) We laughed and joked the whole time, but it just got better at time went on. Because when we were finally done, we realized that the gates had been closed for quite some time, there were no openings in the fence anywhere, and we would have to climb out. Jimmy kept apologizing, but Lisa and I couldn't have been happier--we got to climb the fence to escape the cemetery after a photo shoot with a newspaper. Does it really get any better than that?!?

With help from Lisa's hubby, we found a concrete and rock pillar to climb and made our escape. Which we promptly celebrated with hot-fudge sundaes from McDonald's. What a night! I haven't had this much fun since I was a teenager! Who knew TMs could keep me so young!

Be Safe!

I was planning on blogging today about the vacation we took last week. . . and I will probably do that still later today or tomorrow.

But after reading Rae's blog today--I simply must say something to all the women (and men) in my life:

BE SAFE!!!

Do whatever you need to do whenever you need to do it.
You are too important to me--my life would not be the same without you.
So, whether or not you think you need to, take stock of your life and make whatever changes or adjustments you need to in order to BE SAFE! If not for yourself, do it for me. I'm too selfish to do without any of you!

Great Declutter Challenge

Because of the sad state of our homes, a couple friends and I have decided to declutter our homes together. We're going to choose areas of our home to work on at the same time, and report with before and after pictures. I figured everyone ought to enjoy the journey with me. So enjoy!

2008 Declutter Day 1

Office

Our "office" is just a corner of the master bedroom--but that corner gets overwhelmed easily and often. So it was a great place for me to start. Here's the before:

And, after 1/2 hour of work (not to bad if I do say so myself), here's the after:

Still a little cluttered--but in a small house with 4 people and a dog, what can you do. Now to find out how much of the rest of the house was trashed while I did this. . . .

Mash Game: Predict Your Future at eSPIN-the-Bottle

		I will marry Mr. Darcy.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Virginia in our fabulous Apartment.
		We will have 1 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Whilte Austin Martin.
		I will spend my days as a Romance Novelist, and live happily ever after.

My BFF

Since she's the one who convinced me to start this blog in the first place, I thought Rae deserved some recognition. And since my favorite way to do that is to embarrass her and make her laugh, here are some of my favorite recent Rae stories:

After returning home from a recent trip, Rae's friend picked her up at the airport. He came with a gift: an all-day sucker.

**Anyone with as dirty a mind as Rae and I have is already giggling.**

He, however, does not. He likes to think he does, but he most certainly does not. His response to Rae's comments about the sucker was: I brought you 2 all-day suckers. I'm the other sucker for coming to get you whenever you want!

Dude, does the man realize what he just offered?!? Nope. And that's the funniest part!

A couple weeks ago, with the same friend, Rae took a walk in an old cemetary. This is not odd behavior for Rae--she's just that eclectic (er, I mean classy). But what was odd is that they found a knife--creepy. So, being the upright citizens they are (insert laugh here), they called the police to report it and turn it in. Here's the best part: when the officer showed up, he was a tall hottie named Officer Roarke! *Swoon* So what does my BFF do? She calls me immediately of course--cause she knew I'd swoon with her. Ah, Roarke.

For those who don't get why that last story makes me grin, you really need to read the murder myster/romance books by J.D. Robb.

And now, just to make Rae laugh, here's my last tribute for today to her and our friendship:

I HAVE MACE!!!!!

I love you babe!

I Wanna Drive the Bookmobile

I just found my dream job.

When my kids are grown and gone, I want to drive the Bookmobile. Not only would I get to spend my days surrounded by books, but I'd get to travel all over the county too! I'd be a traveling librarian. And truly, I don't really care if they pay me or not--which I'm guessing will make me the perfect employee. LOL

So, in about 15 years or so, when you see me at the DMV getting my CDL (which the Z-Man tells me I must have), you'll know why.

Someday, I wanna drive the bookmobile.

Cute? Crazy? YEP!

The other week, I was in the store looking for new pajamas--the holes had taken over my old ones. So, I decided scrubs and a t-shirt would be comfy--then, I found this and couldn't resist:

I think this sums me up pretty darn well.

You Mean Me?!?

I've been trying to blog this story for quite a while now, but every time I tell it, it sounds like I'm bragging. In fact, there are dozens of my close friends who should hear this story, but I HATE sounding like I'm proud of myself--or like I think I'm something special. I've decided that can't be helped--every time I think about this, I get giddy. So, if I'm bragging, I guess we'll all survive.

I met someone whom I admire a great deal. In fact, in my eyes, this person has reached celebrity status. I was terribly nervous, and excited, and giddy, and bewildered that it could even happen to me. But meeting this person didn't turn out to be the best part! It got better!

We spent quite a bit of the time together talking about movie stars and other famous people that this person has met. All of the "beautiful people" I dream about meeting. Then, as I'm standing next to this person who I admire so greatly, they turn to me and say "You are SO beautiful!"

I think my heart stopped beating for a second. I'm quite surprised I didn't drop right then and there. And I was absolutely certain I had imagined the whole thing. Except that everyone around me heard the same thing!

Now, I know that my mother has been telling me all my life that I'm beautiful. My friends tell me that too, and I'm going to assume that the Z-Man still likes the way I look. But to have someone I admire from afar--who has met some of the most beautiful people on the planet--and who I have just met (so they would have no alterior motive, right?)--tell me I'm beautiful. . . .well, that just made my lifetime!

So, thanks! I'm going to go do more happy dancing now.

LIterary Lessons

I have been devouring books right and left lately. It seems I can't get enough of it. I plan my day around the best times to read (i.e. when Zippy and Munchkin are asleep or occupied), and it's rare I'll go more than an hour without slipping a few pages in. But while I've been enjoying my forays into my imagination, my reality has been suffering neglect.

I've decided that, rather than try to stop reading (like that's gonna happen), I need to apply lessons learned from the books I'm drawn to and improve reality while I'm at it. So, for today, my literary observations are thus:

The "leading ladies" I'm drawn to share a number of traits. And they are traits that are sorely lacking in my own life. They are strong women who put duty before pleasure, but who take pleasure in their work. They are not ashamed of or embarrassed by what they're passionate about. And, while some of my favorites enjoy and thrive on literature, they certainly don't spend months on end with their noses buried in books--they stand up and live their lives the best they can with whatever they're given.

Well, I keep wondering why my life never turns out like the books I read, so I guess there's part of the answer. I can't live that exciting of a life with my nose in a book--I actually have to get off my chair and live it. Wish me luck!

Broktoon

Two days until Stephenie Meyer (a.k.a. Empress of Sexy) arrives in town. Two days until I'm standing in front of her, meeting her, and getting my books signed!

Excuse me for a moment while I have a fangirl moment:

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

OK, I'm done now.

Good News

There have been many good things happen since I last posted, and since my brain refuses to kick into gear, all I'm going to do is list them:

My computer is back up and running after a week-long "vacation".

The Z-Man starts his great new job this Sunday.

My brother gets to call home from his mission on Sunday.

I own 2 copies of the Host by Stephenie Meyer.

I also have 2 tickets to her Utah book signings.

In just over a week, I will be attending said signings with other Twilight Mom friends.

My best friend Rae is going to come visit in June--we actually get to celebrate her birthday together!

My other best friend Sarah is going to read the same books I've been reading lately--a perfect situation for many great conversations and laughs together.

I now have a new nickname: "The Transformer" which I'm still not convinced I deserve, but which makes me giggle.

Most of all, I have a life full of friends and family whom I know love me unconditionally. What better feeling is there!

Still no news on the job.

Still waiting.

Still grumpy about it.

But at least it's getting closer and closer to the very exciting month of May. If I survive all the Twilight/Host/Mother's Day/birthday excitement planned for the next few weeks, it'll be a miracle. That's the kind of busy that I love!

Limbo

I hate waiting. I hate not knowing what's coming, and I hate having to wait for someone to tell me how my life is going to change.

Still no word yet about a job change for the Z-man.

I don't mind change--really, I don't. As long as I can have complete control over it and know beforehand exactly how things are going to turn out, I don't mind change at all.

I just hate waiting. GRRRR.

Because I'm bored. . . .

And don't have anything better to do tonight, here's more information than you ever wanted to know about me:

1. What is your occupation? Mother, homemaker, piano teacher, Twilight enthusiast

2. What color are your socks right now? non-existant. It's way too warm for socks

3. What are you listening to right now? KOHS--the local high school alternative music station

4. What was the last thing you ate? A Coldbuster from Jamba Juice

5. Can you drive a stick shift? You better believe it baby!

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Some form of yellow

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? RAE!!!

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? You bet! Sarah, you're still one of my favorite people ever!

9. Favorite drink? Dr. Cullen--no question

10. What is your favorite sport to watch? volleyball--the ONLY one I enjoy watching

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, but I get bored with it too easily to commit to anything drastic.

12. Pets? One mutt named Bear

13. Favorite food? Strawberries and chocolate--preferrably together

14. Last movie you watched? Other Side of Heaven--Z-man had it on and I half-watched while catching up online

15. Favorite day of the year? My birthday--the only day I can be truly selfish without guilt!

16. What do you do to vent anger? Call Rae, post on TMs, and mostly cry

17. What is your favorite season? Tie between Spring and Fall

18. Hugs or kisses? Um, it depends on whom it's from. . . . Mostly hugs, unless we're talking about the Z-man. . . .

19. When was the last time you cried? When I heard my dear friend's MIL was losing her battle with cancer.

20. What is on the floor of your closet? shoes, dust, and some laundry that fell out of the basket

21. Favorite smells? Chocolate, fresh bread, my babies when they've just been bathed

22. Who inspires you? Rae, Z-man, my mother, and my TM sisters

23. What are you afraid of? Bees--don't ask, it isn't pretty

24. Favorite car? Astin Martin--they're sexy, fast, and Z-man doesn't know how to tinker with them ;)

25. Number of keys on your key ring? 4--my van, Z-man's car, Z-man's truck (not the classic Chevy, dang it!), and our house

26. How many years at your current job? Well, Zippy's 4 now, so. . . .

27. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday--random I know, but it's my break in teaching piano, and I'm halfway through the week--a very hopeful thought.

28. How many states have you lived in? 2 Kansas and Utah

29. Do you think you're funny? It depends on how many Dr. Cullen's I've had and whether Rae, AmyO, and/or Sarah are around

And there it is: Random and useless information about me that you probably never wanted to know.

But then again, there is this: I've actually posted 2 days in a row!!!! Who knew I had it in me!

GO ME!

I’ve been thinking today about fear. Probably because I’m worried out of my mind about the expected job offer for Z-Man. But, nevertheless, I’m thinking about it. And I’ve decided that it’s been far too long since I started letting fear rule my life.

I’m afraid of failing at losing weight—so I just eat what I want and have gained way too much lately.

I’m afraid of not having enough money for what we need—so I spend way too much in a knee-jerk reaction.

I’m afraid of not writing the funniest, or most insightful, or most entertaining blogs—so I let all my thoughts and ideas pile up, wither, and disappear in my brain.

UGH!! I detest living this way. I hate feeling like I have to escape into poorly written fiction (the only kind I seem to be finding on-line lately) in order to avoid thinking about how I’m letting fear keep me from living my life. And while it will certainly take me a while (with many set-backs), I’m going to change the way I live my life. And actually enjoy the time I have—mistakes and all.

Here’s to imperfect, sloppy, sometimes painful REAL LIFE!
And as step one on this journey—I’m officially posting this entry without editing it—and without letting myself second-guess whether I want anyone else to see this about me or not. GO ME!

Compulsive Procrastination

That's right everyone. . . I now have a name for my problem. Thanks to Rae, I can now easily explain why my house is such a mess. Anything and everything is more interesting than the task at hand.

Hi, I'm Megatha, and I'm a compulsive procrastinator.

On a lighter note, I have found the key to keeping my house clean. All I have to do is find a hot man for Rae somewhere near my house--because in her very own words: "I would totally clean for sex."

And finding a man to take care of my best friend's, um, needs has GOT to be more interesting than actually doing my cleaning myself, right?

And don't worry Rae, I'll supply all the mace you'll ever need ;)

Update!

Great news! We're staying in Utah!!! I don't have to pack up the house and kids; I don't have to try to sell a house in this cruddy market; I don't have to worry about missing my traveling this summer! Z-man has been asked to allow a backgroud check by a great company in a final step before they offer him a job! Now maybe I can re-claim some brain cells and actually get something done today. . . . nah--too busy doing a happy dance!

Um. . . yeah.

WOW! That's the only thought in my head this morning. I had every intention of posting something thoughtful, meaningful, blah blah blah. Then, last night, ZMan applied for a couple jobs way out of state. I didn't think he'd actually do it, but he did. I'm 1/2 giddy and 1/2 terrified. And absolutely no coherent thought can make it's way through the wall of "WOW" that is currently holding court in my mind.

Breakfast: The Most Important Meal

This morning Munchkin started whining during breakfast. This is definitely not noteworthy, but the rest of breakfast was. Her whining started to sound different, and even the Z-Man noticed:

Z-Man: Is she howling? Are you a little werewolf?

Me (inside my head): WHAT?!? Did he actually say that?!? HA! I knew it!

Me out-loud: Yep, she’s a little werewolf—just like her Daddy.

Z-Man: Hey, I thought I was a vampire! (At which point he bites my neck)

Me (inside my head): Mmmmm, I love breakfast. . . .

I KNEW he was paying attention to my Twilight rambling; even if he denies it!

Latest Fashions?

I had a bad Mommy moment yesterday. Nothing terrible, I just did the one thing you're NEVER supposed to do. I laughed at Zippy when he was doing something I keep telling him not to. But it wasn't my fault. I couldn't help it. I keep telling him to keep his clothes on, but I didn't exactly mean like this. He strutted into the room buck naked except for the underwear on his head. He walked right over to me and announced, "Mommy, this is my hat." And then turned, and marched straight back out of the room. I seriously couldn't help it. Bad Mommy; bad, bad Mommy. . .

This past weekend, I had more fun than, well, than before I had kids to be honest. I, along with 14 other women, spent Friday night and most of Saturday acting like 13-year-olds at a slumber party. A TwilightMoms slumber party. Thanks ladies! My world will never be the same!

And yes, that is a Bedazzler--way too much fun to use!

Truly, I've never been more at ease and comfortable with a whole group of women. Everyone loved everyone else for who they are--no pretenses and no judgments! It was heaven and I couldn't believe it ever had to end. Long live TwilightMoms!!!

I never claimed I didn't have issues.. .

Welcome to my dear, dear TwilightMom friends. I'm so glad you've come to see my blog!

Speaking of Twilight, I was thinking that I ought to explain the title of my blog a little. Then, I thought better of it. If you want to know why Forks often equates with Heaven in my mind right now, GO READ TWILIGHT!!! K, enough ranting.

So, on to tonight's blog. Rae told me I should blog about tonight's topic, and I've put it off for days. You see, I really truly do think that I have issues. But I'm far too embarassed to admit what my real ones are. . .except to a very few. And even they only know part of what they think they know. Mostly because I know how blessed my life has been--and I simply don't think that I deserve to have issues. I realize, that sounds like an issue in and of itself--and it probably is. But really, my life has been so good, what right have I to claim that I have any trials that others should be sympathetic to? I should be the one who has all the resources to give back to those around me. I should be the one listening and trying to help. And I shouldn't ever have a bad day, let alone a bad streak (or heaven forbid actually feel depressed) because I REALLY TRULY have been blessed. And I know it. So, the more I think and write about it, the more I realize that I actually have issues about having issues. Is that really messed up? Probably, but like I said before: I never claimed I didn't have issues. . . .

Bathroom Blues

I’m done potty-training Zippy. Not that he’s done potty-training, I’m just done with it. I would have thought that until he stands up to do his business, I wouldn’t need to wash the bathroom floor multiple times a day. I was wrong. He’s come up with a new trick that I’m simply not OK with. He refuses to um, aim down. . .so it all comes out under the seat. That means his clothes and the floor get soaked nearly every time. This is not what I signed up for.

I have a problem. OK, so I have lots of problems, but let’s just take one at a time. My problem is I can’t seem to keep from sticking my foot in my mouth at the very moment that I’m supposed to be in charge and in control. It’s like a compulsion—and I usually don’t even realize I’m doing it until it’s far, far too late. This past Sunday was a perfect example. Recently I have rediscovered my love for alternative rock music—leaning more towards edgy, indy, and almost metal. And John and I have discovered a band called NightWish—whom we love! So on Sunday, I’m directing choir rehearsal like usual, and we start to work on breathing from the diaphragm rather than our chests. After we practice a few times, I’m trying to explain why it’s important to breathe that way when we sing. I start talking about Nightwish and the different sounds that their lead female singers have. Operatic vs. Rock. So, I’m going on and on talking about round sounds vs. sounds with a rough edge on the bottom, thinking I’m being so clever to use a current band as an example (how cool am I?!?) and then I realize that everyone, including the teenagers, are sitting there staring at me with VERY blank faces. “Oh,” I say. “I guess none of you listen to goth metal.” Wait, did I just admit in church to listening to goth metal?!? OOPS (the answer to the question above is—not cool at all). Then, I try to ignore my flub and keep going. I start talking about how to finish a phrase of singing when you’re running low on air. And nearly all the way through that explanation, I realize that I have now gone so far that I’m going to have to tell a former member of the bishopric to squeeze his butt to sing!!!! I nearly died!! Lands, I really have a problem. The filter between my brain and my mouth needs a serious tune-up.

Random Late Night Thoughts

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-control and discipline lately. Probably because I’m severely lacking in both categories. I’ve added more than 5 pounds in the last month. I haven’t even tried to resist all the goodies the holidays have offered. I’ve indulged again and again. All the while keeping them as much as possible out of the hands of the kiddos and Z-man (hmm. . a little hypocritical Mommy?). And now I feel sluggish and out of sorts. Plus, since the day I picked up Twilight (most terrible and glorious day in recent months), my house and kids have suffered serious neglect. Now, I don’t mean to say that Social Services would in any way be concerned with what they see, but Zippy is definitely begging for attention at this point. And while Munchkin is faring better, it’s only because she’s innately more independent. And while I’m almost caught up on dishes and laundry, deep cleaning hasn’t taken place in . . .um, a while. And I’m afraid to look in the back of the fridge—I think there’s something in there that might look back. The computer is the only one that actually gets more attention now. It seems the easiest way to keep from re-vamping Twilight is to spend all my time on Twilight Moms talking about Twilight . . .and who knows what else. So, I definitely need more balance. And I can already tell it’s going to be very hard work to regain self-discipline. Plus, it’s just no fun!!!!! Ah well, I suppose I did choose to be a Mom, and a Wife, and a homemaker, and . . .my head hurts now. Well, like they say, tomorrow is a new day, and I can start again. Wait. . .who is “they”; is that what’s in the back of my fridge?!? I really need to sleep now. This is way too deep for after Pumpkin time.